Category Archives: movies

A Gift that Never Gives up on Giving.

“Put… the bunnah’… back… in the box.” Nick Cage, Con Air

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Memories of a Prairie Dog

Way back in college, circa 1999 or so, I was privileged to see a fine documentary called, Varmints.  This cinematic masterpiece, dubbed “the Schindler’s list of wildlife documentaries” and “darkly hilarious” by critics, happened to be on late one night in my dorm room and I also happened to be HIGH AS FUCK when my roommate and I magically chanced upon it.  Maybe the visual and mental enhancement was the reason I found it so fascinating, but perhaps it actually stands on its own as a bizarrely weird nature film that has both fueled my nightmares and tickled my funny bone for years after the fact.  BEHOLD: THE VARMINT GRENADE:

So morbid–but I laughed until I cried.  Judge me if you want.
This clip of the varmint bombing combined in the film with an uncommonly proud man who had a dream about a prairie dog vacuum machine, BLEW MY FUCKING MIND.

It’s like The Room of nature documentaries–It is so unbelievable and ridiculous that it becomes gospel.  This shit is CHURCH.

Varmints: The Trailer–

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Cult Movie Staring Contest…GO!

Give it a go–and take your time because I’ll be gone until next weekend…  Enjoy!

2001: A Space Odyssey: Win! He blinked first.

 

Pulp Fiction: Lose, you can’t go up against a bad mothaf**cka and expect to win.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly- You Lose, clearly he never takes his eye off the prize.

Young Frankenstein: It’s a draw… who the fuck knows what Igor is looking at.

A Clockwork Orange: Lose. JUST.PLAIN.LOSE (now look away, quickly)

The Darjeeling Limited: Win! He blinks (he’s totally f-ed up on pain meds, but either way…WIN)!

Vertigo: Lose. Sorry.

Scarface: Win! He blinks and turns away… Way to stare him down!

The Shining: LOSE…Listen, I know he blinks, but you will always lose in this situation.

Rushmore: WIN! He totally blinked. And then got awkward about it.

Full Metal Jacket: It’s a draw, he might have blinked, he might not have but I’m not sticking around to find out.

The Life Aquatic : EPIC LOSS, look at all of them…no way.

Fight Club: Total win, I don’t even think he was paying attention.

Fargo: Lose! She didn’t blink OR turn away even when she points to her badge.

Ghostworld: Win. He’s not even playing right, I don’t think he even cares.

Gifs from IWDRM.

if You’ve been waiting your entire life for something to explain your entire life…THIS IS IT.

A Nicolas Cage GIF to explain the entire gamut of your human (and sometimes bizarrely inhuman) emotions…at Gifolas Cage.  Reference them well and often.

Perfect example, happy and agreeable yet broody and pensive… all in one AMAZING GIF.